11-21-24
Two young British men were exploring the off-limits parts of the Paris catacombs. From the headlamps and flashlights the two each had, the passageways were narrow and just barely tall enough to walk in. The walls were made of crumbly brown stone. Occasionally, a bone could be seen from the wall's surface. Lastly, the floor was uneven, so water collected in a small stream in the center and slightly trickled down the passages.
The two friends had been exploring for some time silently until one of them decided to break out a bottle of liquor and started drinking. Not too long after, but before the effects of the alcohol set in, Liquor anon started talking about his brother. His brother had passed away a few years ago of cancer. He described the last few months of his brother's life and rapid decline in health before passing away. The other friend commented that he did not know how the liquor guy made it through military service afterwards. Liquor anon, at this point was quite drunk and got distracted by a noise in a small hallway they found as they were walking deeper into the catacombs.
At the end of the short hallway, a small section of the floor was dug up and revealed an exposed, cracked, ceramic sewage pipe. A steady amount of water was flowing through it. As Sober anon was looking into the pipe, Liquor anon suddenly revealed a bone that he must have pulled from one of the walls at some point without his friend noticing, and threw it into the pipe. The bone startled Sober anon, who was then rather upset that Liquor anon was messing around with the human remains. While Liquor anon was laughing at his friend being startled, Sober anon demanded that he not displace any other human remains, which was met with continuing laughter.
At this point, Sober anon had had enough of the catacombs and expressed his desire to leave. Liquor anon ignored his friend and approached the pipe and began speaking into it, mocking and goading any spirits to mess with him if they could. Sober anon was not having this and started shaking him, angrily telling him to stop and to leave the catacombs with him. Liquor anon just continued to laugh in his face. When he finally calmed down and the two were silent for a moment, it seemed the two heard a faint voice coming from no particular direction. Sober anon asked Liquor anon if he said anything just then, to which Liquor anon rudely, and with venom in his voice, said it was his "little bitch brother". At this Sober anon told him to go fuck himself and began making his way back out of the catacombs.
On their way out, Liquor anon was giving his friend a lot of shit about not being any fun these days and not knowing how to take a joke. Sober anon did not reply to him, or even look back to see if Liquor anon was keeping up. Eventually, after walking for longer than they had on the way in, Sober anon came to the realization that they were lost. He still refused to talk to Liquor anon, who was still drinking and ignoring his demand to not mess with the human remains embedded into the walls. Sober anon just kept leading his friend into random passageways, hoping to find a way out.
They then came across a junction where a skull's face could be seen embedded into the wall. Sober anon finally spoke to his friend to tell him to not even think about messing with the skull. Liquor anon agreed, as even he realized they were lost. Liquor anon then looked down one of the passageways at the junction and noticed a ladder going up. The two approached the ladder and noticed the interior of an office building through the ladder's hatch at the top. They immediately started climbing, with Liquor anon going first.
At the top of the ladder, the hatch was lightly closed as Liquor anon had put his fingers around the hatch. A voice then spoke asking to be given a reason to not fully close the hatch and leave whoever was on the ladder stuck overnight. The two started to frantically beg to be let out, apologizing for entering their building and promising payment. At this, the voice sighed and opened the hatch and told them to get out.
Upon climbing out, the two were met by the owner of the voice, who happened to be a police officer in a yellow vest. As it turned out, the building the two Brits had just climbed into was a police station. Sober anon just accepted his fate and stayed silent. Liquor anon, however, hates policemen and immediately started being rude to the officer after being told that the two were under arrest and going to be facing charges for illegally entering the catacombs.
To this, Liquor anon started pissing into an office plant, to which the officer told him to stop, threatening charges for public indecency and public intoxication. Liquor anon ignored the officer, walked over to the officer's desk, and continued to piss on it. The officer then decided to add another charge for resisting arrest and disobeying a lawful command. Then a knock was heard at the door, which Liquor anon answered since he was the closest to the door. Then, immediately after opening the door and not looking at who was on the other side, Liquor anon continued to piss on the guests. The guests ended up being a mother and young daughter, and liquor anon was pissing on the daughter's face.
Sober anon immediately rushed his drunken friend, who kept pissing on the young girl's face as she was tearing up and crying, and violently pulled him away and slammed him onto the floor. The officer then followed up with kicking Liquor anon savagely in the chin and knocking his head into the desk's leg in the process. At this more officers entered the office and detained Sober anon, leading him away. Liquor anon was not led out.
Some days later, Sober anon, who had already gone through the courts and was sentenced, was brought back into the station to see what had become of his friend. Upon entering the office where they had climbed out of the catacombs, he was met with the sight of Liquor anon mostly undressed and riddled with orange bandages all over his torso. When he asked, Sober anon was told that the officers had been drugging him since his first day there and continuously beaten up. His arms and ankle had been broken, yet the officers made him stand up or face more beatings, not even allowing Liquor anon to sleep. Sober anon was pleased at this, and did not say a word to his former friend. There were also some massive slugs in the room which quickly moved to Sober anon's legs as if they were dogs. The officers paid the slugs little attention, mentioning that they sometimes crawl out of the hatch leading to the catacombs, and often go back on their own. Then I woke up.