07-26-23
I almost burnt down the house. I had come home from work and went into the living room, which was painted gray. There I saw a small strange grey metal object shaped somewhat like a boot with a sharp right angle in one corner resting on a small wooden table in the center of the room. On the opposite corner was a handle. It was extremely dense and had strange properties when in contact with other objects. For example it would burst into flames when struck. I found this out when I tried picking it up off the table and dropped it due to it being extremely heavy. It must have been 200 pounds despite it being the size of a cell phone, yet did not damage the floor.
The flame was extremely hot, but just barely visible if you looked long enough, and had an extremely faint maroon color to it. I only found out it was even burning the hard way when I tried picking it up. My skin itself was on fire, just a regular fire.
I got worried as I realized this thing would burn down the house if nothing was done. I quickly found some heat resistant gloves and called my brother to help me lift it up. We managed to get it out the front door and set it on the porch because we needed to cool our hands. It was scorching the wooden deck. It was also growing. It was about the size of a car door and even hotter. The metal was starting to glow red and even orange in the places it was melting.
At this point I was extremely worried. I told my younger brother to go to the back yard and grab the garden hose while I tried dragging the burning object off the wooden deck and onto the pavement. I succeeded, noting that the deck under it had been reduced to glowing coals.
My brother returned and started to hose down the deck. When he did this the scorch marks disappeared and the deck looked brand new when he was done. You would never have known it was on fire. Then he started to hose down the object which had stopped growing. The water had no effect whatsoever so we dragged it on to the neighbor's lawn to attempt to bury it and smother the fire (fuck the neighbor's grass I guess). This worked immediately and the fire was out. Now we had to wait for it to cool and get it back to our yard.
I went back to my workplace for some rope to string the object on (I thought about the object during this and concluded it must be a tungsten magnet by this point since for some reason). While there, however, some woman showed up asking where we were so we could be taken in for questioning. We hid from her in a small chapel labeled as a sanctum. She headed our way and we needed to go fast so we got up, walked right past her confidently, and pulled it off.
When we arrived back home the object had been moved to our property already by I assumed our irritated neighbor whose grass we burnt and probably poisoned. We still tied the rope around their tree and a post in the garage and strung up the object by the handle. We slid the object into the garage along the rope. Then I woke up.